If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
