you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You were trust falling into bushes
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize