This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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