I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
