Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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