can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
