I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize