Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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