Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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