She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
