Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize