i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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