Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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