Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
