Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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