the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
