The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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