this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize