My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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