By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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