physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize