The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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