Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
