Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
