I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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