U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
