worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
