I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
