I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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