I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
