in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize