its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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