I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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