Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
