if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
