if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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