therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
