i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
