so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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