Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
