Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize