Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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