Small penises have feelings too.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize