ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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