explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I will pee on everything he values.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
