Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
