my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
