I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
