She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
