they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
