I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
