I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
