why didn't you poke me back
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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