? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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