Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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