I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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