It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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