Midget sex pt 2 tonight
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
