You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
