please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
