he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
