i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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