Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
