I'm lost and stupid without you.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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