In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
