Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
