everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
