We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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