We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
