Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I love you. Go after that dick
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize