Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
